Northwoods Blues

This blog was inspired by an article in yesterday's Mpls Star-Trib. :)

Birch Woods, Minnesota.
Federal authorities have siezed more than 50 truckloads of bread destined for domestic markets today, claiming improper labeling of ingredients. According to them, Northwoods Bakeries, Inc., the bakers of the allegedly illegal bread, were labeling their product as "nonwheat bread" when, in fact, it did contain wheat products. The spokesperson for the company disagreed heartily, however. According to Ella Embarrassola, the packaging clearly states that the bread is produced from smelt.

"How dese guys dere coulda thought dat smelt is a wheat product is clearly beyond my comprehension." she stated. "I mean, really, ya know, smelt is a fish, eh? Jeez.

The federal official, who requested to not be anonymous, responded by saying that spelt is on their list of wheat products and that Northwoods Bakeries had been previously warned that thier product was in violation of federal packaging laws. "What if somebody with a wheat intolerance eats this bread and dies?" he raved.

Ms. Embarssola countered by saying, "Dem goofy guys got it all mixed up, ya know. Ya ya, only a ding-dong would confuse a fish with a plant, no matter how it's spelt, ya know. We tol' 'em dat back when, eh?. And, ya know another thing, eh, izzat dem dere feds like ta go offa da deep end once in a while, ya know. Don' dey know how hard it is to get smelt outta season? (eh don' print dat, eh) Personally, our company could care less about da bread, but we would like ta get our trucks back, eh?

Birch Woods' mayor, Wallace Isabella-Lake, commented, "Ya ya, I don' zackly unnerstan da feds' case, here, ya know. After all, dis stuff ain't lutefisk, eh? Somebody down dere ta DC musta spelt it wrong, fer sure.

The case is set for trial in district court in Duluth, Minnesota, next February 22.

Oooohhh ya ya :) :) :)

New Year's Day

Back about 25 years ago, I made the only New Years' resolution that I've ever kept. I resolved to never make New Year's resolutions. :) Boy, was that easy.

I wonder if I'm doing this right, I diddled with the system a little today; otherwise, I couldn't find my blogs with a search. Maybe this is just here to let me type and nobody pays attention. Who cares, anyway?

Enuff of that. :)

Last Friday, I went into my favorite chat room, Oldies Music, and I had some fun. Later that weekend, I found out that I had been "TOS'ed" for using the phrase "all tits are good". Wow, I think that's pretty tame compared to what I could have been TOS'ed for. Stuff like, "There ain't no fucking swearing in here, goddamnit." Just seems weird to me. The kicker is that tonite, as I try to go back into Oldies Music, I can't get there. Maybe it's just that the chat room's down on AOL, maybe it's from my TOS'ing, I dunno.

I still haven't heard anything new on my gold mine. If I need anything in life right now, it's to get the hell out of here. I need to go home, where I belong.

I had a nice xmas, went to Wisconsin to see family. I also had a fun New Year's, going over the Sheila's and watching comedy DVDs with her.

I'm out of sorts tonite. Don't know what it is. I had a good day at work tonite, I'm not hungry or tired, I'm just not feeling good. I get like this, good ol' cyclic disorder, you know. I recognise that, but it doesn't make me feel any better. Time is what it takes.

Awww, phoey, enough depressing all of you.